Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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Why are white people afraid of black people? The holocaust

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Why is Steve Jobs dead, but Bill Gates isn't? Because Bill Gates wasn't diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.

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The homeless man first experience warmth....in Hell

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OMG this actually works! 1. Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2. Die

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

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Has anyone seen that clown that hides from gay people in Tesco's

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a chinese wompus came out of the basement.

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Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

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Why did Hitler kill the Jews? He didn't, the people he told to kill them did.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night and realized that his house was being robbed.

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What did Charlie Sheen say to Rebecca Black? If you care about the punchline I hate you.

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A bar walks into a man. The drink orders a bartender. And then the money walks home. End The.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Therefore no one knew why his name was Fuzzy Wuzzy.

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

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"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

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Q: What did the chinese guy say to his friend? A: ??

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Most of these Anti-Jokes are Anti-Anti jokes, which makes them funny, if they were actually Anti-Jokes they wouldn't be funny at all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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