John: Hey Pablo why are you standing outside Home Depot. Pablo: Because I work here.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the rednecks say when they saw the bat? Ma, I'm afraid this is the Myotis Sodalis, or Indian Bat. It is an endangered species. Thus, we cannot shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts. whats worse than 2 holocausts? i rotten banana. whats worse than a rotten banana? 2 rotten bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a psychopath, that's why.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is James Miller's real name? James Miller.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you count all the jews in a village? The United States Census Bureau usually has reliable data so I would start there

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's green and red and goes a hundred miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why couldnt the kid get off the couch when his mom asked him to? he was paralyzed

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Haikus are easy. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man walked into a bar. Ow!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the Chinaman say to the other Chinaman? I dont know, he was speaking in Chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whats worse then people People copying other Anti-Jokes. People copying other Anti-Jokes about the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the boy kissing up to his parents? He only wanted them to say "I love you" for once.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

thumb_up thumb_down -31

whats better than sex with a 12 year old?? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what happens when I bought a car. A man stole it from me and killed my family.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you describe a funny man on stilts? Stand up comedy

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

guess what no i know what your thinking, its NOT chickenbutt. its that tomorrow i have a math test. that sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops