How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue shotgun How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose and shoot it with a blue shotgun.

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What did the dead person say? Nothing, dead people cant talk, coz they are dead

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a horse walks into a bar. what does the bartender say? why is there a horse in my bar.

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How did Princess Diana cross the road? Through the windshield

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Where do you live? In a house

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A Jewish man walks into a grocery store. He purchases the items he needs and leaves.

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A man laughs creepily and another man asks him what he's doing he says I have a creepy laugh so the man asks him why he was laughing the man says there's a boy over there that has a frog stapled to his face!!!!!!!!!

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your mum

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What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

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Roses are red Violets are blue One fish two fish Red fish blue fish

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The last time Jesse saw his **** was the day..........oh wait it's never happened

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What has four legs, and smells when it's wet? A wet dog.

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A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

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Why did the women call 911 on her 12 year old son? Because he was schizophrenic and attempting to commit suicide by hanging himself.

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slaughter the mussies #EDL

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Know what would be awkward, if a GPS told a gay guy to get straight.

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all these jokes suck ass

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

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Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? lettuce lettuce who? Lett-uce be friends

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what is sticky and brown?a stick

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An Afronaut

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Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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