whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

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What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

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Why did the baboon fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Heartlight

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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What's the anonymous name for vampire hunters? The KKK.

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How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

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knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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You know whats retarted? people with down syndrome.

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Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

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Yes.

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How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The oven is set to 425 degrees farenheit. The two muffins are taken out of the oven once cooked, and enjoyed by the couple who cooked them.

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What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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What did the one legged girl do when her apartment caught on fire? She tried to hop to safety, but died of smoke inhalation.

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What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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How do gay guys have sex with women?? They dont, they are gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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