Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is pink and smells like red paint? Pink paint

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What do you call a black person with one leg? A: In modern American society, it is proper etiquette to adress somebody by their first name.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Charlotte fall off the swing? She got hit in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the foot say to the other foot? Nothing, because they are feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks up to another man and asks what time it is. He then replies " It's 2:00" The man then pulls out a sandwich and eats it

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you make Chuck Norris cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the egg crossed the road? If X = chicken and C = the speed of light, then 2 to the power of the road which is 12 feet across times X/C = egg

thumb_up thumb_down +9

In Soviet Russia it is normally colder than america and most people speak russian.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the cat say when you rub it's stomach? Nothing because felines don't have the needed vocal organs to speak, and probaly wouldn't know english do to the size of there brain.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There once was a man from nantucket. But he moved to California after he won the State lottery.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

matt f stupid because no one likes him

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Dogs in my home.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do u call a black person by his name

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why was little bobby sad? he accidentally super-glued Jupiter to his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Reverse psychology never fails.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the Lightning Bolt say to the Thunder Cloud? WATTSup?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops