Why did Johnny stop walking halfway to school? A fridge fell on him.

What was the first thing the mother did when her baby was born? Weep. The baby was a was a stillborn.

Why did the child cross the road? Her parents were abusing her and she wanted to get hit by a car.

a guy walked into my house and asked "why do you do the beep test every arvo?" i suddenly replied, im matt minors i get chicks

A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

25

I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

joke

what do you call anybody eating at mcdohnalds? hungry, diabetic people

Roses are black Violets are black Im Helen Keller WWWHHAATTTTT!?!?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

Who did the Vampire bite? No one because vampires aren't real.

Why didnt the man eat the free cachew nuts? Because he did'nt want to die from an allergic reaction.

There is a black guy, British guy, and a Spanish guy in a room. Wait that'll never happen, black people hate Spanish people.

A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

what happened to the farm animals? They were slaughtered and their parts were sold as meat, glue and other useful materials

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

Knock knock Who's there? Batman Batman who? Because he was

jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

So a Quadriplegic walks into a bar.....

how do you kill a little girl? seeing as murder is a federal offence i will not tell you how. you should be ashamed for asking.

Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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