Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H20" and the second one says, "I'll have some H20 too." The second scientist dies after drinking hydrogen peroxide.

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LIFE :(

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? The pigment in their skin.

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Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

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So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a piece of chicken? They were once both alive and innocent. I lied about the black guy.

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Walruses are basically saber-toothed seals. That does not affect the fact that they are awesome.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

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What is black, white, red and blue? ..... A cow dressed as superman.

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If you see a pink banana, you are color blind.

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Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

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What does a Jewish Santa Clause say? This scenario is highly improbable as Jews celebrate Hanukkah and not Christmas.

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What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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Anything involving women..

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Q.What do you call a black man flying a plane? A. A black pilot you racist bastard

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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R.I.P. Steve Jobs

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If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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