How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

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if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

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There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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if i had a nickel for every time iv typed an anti joke... i would have $0.15

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

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What do you get when you mix Catholicism and Islam? War

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

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What did the man say to the really attractive woman? We are different genders

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Did you hear about the guy who fell out of the stands at the ranger game? He died.

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

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Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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