If life gives you lemons ask where they came from.

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^that joke a piece of shit

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A man walks in on his wife blowing Bubbles. Two weeks later they are divorced.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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yo momma so fat i abuse my wife

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Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son was captured by a sexual predator, and your daughter tried to run from them, and now she's under the wheels of the bus going round and round.

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What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

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"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? gang rape

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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Where do black people ride bicycles? In the Pedestrian Zone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing.

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whats are the similarities between a dolphin and a bus? they both have wheels, aside from the dolphin. it does not,

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Why can't a black guy be the King of England? He's not in line for it.

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what do you call a 2-foot blue scottishman named max? max

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What is the meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything in it? I'm not sure at rhe moment, but it will take aproximately seven and a half million years of thinking for me to find out.

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An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scottsman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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Why did the fat guy sit on another guy? They were in a wrestling match.

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What's funny? At the exact moment you read this, someone is suffering from domestic abuse.

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Knock,knock whose there? The pizza delivery guy the pizza delivery guy who the pizza delivery guy who didnt give you your pizza

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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