- Anti Joke

A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

I baked you a pie! Oh boy! What flavor? Apple.

What is green and has weels? A green bycicle.

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

Why did Jake have a bad spring break? Because he got hit by a car and died

How come Hellen keller is blind and deaf? Cause she is a women.

Why was little billy sad? He had a crouton stuck up his asshole.

What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

Woman's Rights

What has two legs but can't walk? A quadriplegic man who lost mobility in his legs due to a horrific logging accident.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

Old guitars sound like cat's guts

What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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