Why did the man order fried chcken? I have twelve dead babies in my trunk.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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What's worse than spending time with your girlfriend? Nothing.

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My new Muslim friend is the BOMB

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What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

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whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was Friday night (or Halloween or St. Patty's Day) and the chicken was at a party. He got totally drunk, and then got the bright idea that it would be okay to drive home. On a rural two-lane highway, his vehicle careened into the oncoming traffic lane, and then the ditch, thus crossing the road. Fortunately, he walked away with only a few scratches. However, he was cited for wreckless driving, and got a DUI as well.

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What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

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What's black and makes me food? A microwave.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbour. My neighbour who? Timothy, welcome to the neighbourhood!

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Why Was Did Jill Cross The Road? She Needed To Get To Work.

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I pooped my pants

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Me: Sometimes I like to talk to myself. Me: So do I.

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how long is a peice of string howeverlong you want to make it

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A man walked into a bar. He sustained a mild concussion and a brusied pelvis

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Who is the worst teacher ever? Mrs. Thompson

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A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

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What do you call a hispanic and black man flying a plane? A pilot and his co-pilot.

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird

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19th amendment

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im black

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Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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Your mother is so rotund, in fact she went to a weight loss clinic... but gained weight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops