Yo mama so fat, that when she wore a blue swimsuit to the beach and swam, the Blue Whales started sing, "WE ARE FAAMILY...EVEN THOUGH UR BUGGER THAN ME!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What word is ten letters long and starts with gas? Gastronomy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How could you ever watch a man hit another man and say nothing? UFC is on at 9:00pm.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the Muslim enter the bar? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the child get hit by a bus? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you get when you cross a zebra and a panda? Well, pandas are almost extinct. I guess they gave up and started goin' with zebras.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What'f funny and has 8 wheels? The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? 24

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A white man, a black man, an Asian man, a Mexican man, a subasian man, an Austrailian man, and a Canadian white man. That's it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats the best part about 23 year olds? Theres 20 of them

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Billy: hey dave, wanna hear a joke? Dave: what? Billy: oh yeah, you are deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when you mix a panda,oklahoma,and a handle? The oklahoma panhandle.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a women. Why can't Stephen Hawking speak freely with his voice? Because he's autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:If an apple and an orange had a politicial debate, what would it concern? A:Nothing important.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Johnny fall off his bike? Because Johnny's a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops