What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

8====D~~~~~~

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The WNBA.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the Jewish man dive into the street to pick up a penny? He was Tevye, a character from the famous play Fiddler on the Roof and pennies are valuable and rare in Tsarist Russia in 1905.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

this guy didnt get any pussy last night so go easy on him I I I V

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A YouTube brawl began between two gentlemen in the comment section. They agreed to a final answer and moved on.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you get a dog off of your roof? Shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An Irishman and an Englishman are in a bar. Suddenly a wild Dragonite attacks. The Englishman promptly catches the pokemon and continues to enjoy his drink with his Irish friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A baby elephant steps on a lego. First thought, auch, huh ?! Actually, the lego was fine with it and so was the baby elephant. Now they're married and are expecting a baby legophant.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

knock knock Who's there? The repo man Why? You're being evicted

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops