how do you starve a man who is on welfare? hide his food stamps under his work boots.

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Why did the lightbulb go out? It was on too long

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What does a gay horse eat? HEEEEEEYYYYYY!

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canaan and mallory

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A coach and a priest walk into a boys and girls club and kick out all the girls.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

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A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

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A doctor is delivering a baby on April fool's day. He says, "Congradulations, it's a boy." He then says,"April fools! Your child was stillborn."

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Why did the boy lose his watch? Who cares? It was a shitty-ass watch.

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Is this the krusty krab? NO! THIS IS red lobster, how many i help you?

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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How do you drown a down syndrome child? Put him/her into water.

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What did the dying boy get for Christmas? Presents

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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obama's promises

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One day I was hungry. I ate. I wasn't hungry anymore. Penis.

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roses are red violets are blue im in class

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What do u call it when a Jamaican gets angrey? Nothing, at all. Just an angrey person

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Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

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What do you call a black midget with no legs and has 11 fingers? A human being

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Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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