Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? It is rapidly becoming outdated and most cellphones these days have the time, but if they like the style they are free to use one.

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yo mama is so dumb she went to dr. dre for a pepsmear

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Why couldn't the old man read the street sign? Because there were no words. Just an arrow designating a trun up ahead.

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How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

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Patient: Doctor, I've been having a problem, I can't remember anything. Doctor: Do you think you might have amnesia, a common memory problem. Patient: What Problem?

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Man 1: Your lifes a joke Man 2: Your talking to yourself Man 1 klled himself Man 2 had cancer

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Wy was the lamp crying, because his mother turned into mashed potatoes.

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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What is faster than a black guy stealing a TV? His brother with a DVR

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Why could'nt the boy eat peanuts? Because if he did he would proceed to have an allergic reaction, his throat would swell up, he would go into analeptic shock and die.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

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a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

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Two cannibals were eating a clown. Good.

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tobi is so gay that he is the mayor of sanfrancisco

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why did the man get fired? Because he had cancer

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Chuck Norris didn't rape yo mama, yo mama raped chuck norris!

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A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

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How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

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Women Driving.

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What did the man with cancer do? Die

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You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

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why did the grandpa drop his big mak??? Because an army tank hit him

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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