Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

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As little Timmy crossed the finish line his heart raced with excitement he had just won the big race. Later he and his family went home to celebrate they had pizza and chips and soft drinks. Then they played scrabble and watched spiderman 2. After that Timmy went to sleep. When his parents found him that morning they mourned and mourned because their hero little Timmy was still asleep.

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Q: Why was the bacteria afraid of the sanitizer? A: Because hand sanitizers are made up of ethyl alcohol, inactive additives such as water, other alcohols and fragrances. Ethyl alcohol is the active ingredient in hand sanitizer and is designed to kill germs.

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Q. What is worse than having 100 dead babies nailed to a tree? A. Having 100 dead trees nailed to a baby.

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Yo mamma's so fat it's a legitimate medical condition

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what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

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Why am I righting in english? Because this is an english site.

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What did little Timmy get his grandmother for Christmas? A coffin

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What do you call a black man in the olympics? An olympian.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally becase she fell off the swing.

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A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

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Q: What happened to the 16 year old pregnant black woman? A: She gave birth to a baby in 9 months.

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Whats green, has 4 legs and falls out a tree? A pool table

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What does a Jewish Santa Clause say? This scenario is highly improbable as Jews celebrate Hanukkah and not Christmas.

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how many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb? One, a Mexican can fix any thing.

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Q: How many 3 go into the number 102,351? A: Yes.

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Deadly cancer.

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Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

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How do you know your cat is gay? Other cats have buttsex with him

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What did the Homosexual say to the Southern American? I'm A Homosexual. What did the Southern American say back? I Respect That.

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This is an anti-joke.

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What happened when a boy used the wrong punctuation and grammar, plus forgot how to spell the word know? i dont ;now!!!!!!!!!

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Q: Do you know what Lady Gaga make for his birthday? A: A party

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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