What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

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Why couldnt the kid see the pirate movie? Because he didn't have eyes.

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whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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What did one hipster say to the other hipster? I'm not a hipster.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

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How do you get a firetruck to swerve uncontrollably? Shoot the driver with a 12 gauge.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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why did the cute baby start crying?? because its feet were eaten by rats.

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar and decide to have a drinking contest. Who won? The rabbi. The priest died of alcohol poisoning later that night.

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A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

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Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

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Why did carly drop her groceries Carly is a cow

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An Indian man left a 20% tip after eating at the closest restaurant to him

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Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

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Whats black and white with red all over? A dead panda

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What happened after Peter broke his toe? He went into cardiac arrest and died.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

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Why did the asian man crash into the stop sign? Because there was a frog stapled to his face.

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Why does life suck? Because it does

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Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

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How can you tell if your goldfish is male or female? Put some fishfood in the bowl, if he swims to the food it's a male, if she swims to the food it's a female.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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