Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

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What do you call a black man holding a pistol? A black man holding a pistol

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what's more funny then being raped? not being a minority!

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A grandmother in her late seventies is walking to the grocery store. Then out of nowhere,she stats getting pelted by bananas. One hits her hard on the head,and she dies.

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a potato flew around my room

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What do you call someone with no legs nor arms? Mat

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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A priest walks past a mailbox with the number 666 on it. Nothing happens, because it is an ordinary mailbox.

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[Insert hurtful, yet spontaneous comment here.]

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what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

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roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

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A. Knock Knock B. Welcome!

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Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

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Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

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What's the difference between dead babies and Christmas lights? I don't have Christmas lights hanging on my Christmas tree...

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Jeff goes to the store, Helen Keller.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? NOT SALLYYYY

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Women's rights.

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The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

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2 people with ADD are playing baseball. One of them pitches to the other guy and the other guy swings his arms around, misses, then gets hit by a baseball bat. The batter then realized he was the pitcher and the other guy has gone off chasing after a bird that just flew by.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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