what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

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Guess What! HI!

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Why did the child get hit by a bus? He was blind.

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

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What are we then hypocrites?

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard -you throw them.

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Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

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Yo mama so fat, that when she wore a blue swimsuit to the beach and swam, the Blue Whales started sing, "WE ARE FAAMILY...EVEN THOUGH UR BUGGER THAN ME!!!"

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Why was Soren gay? Because he likes to eat men's Penises!

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Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

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You have cancer

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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That moment when you try and finger your girlfriend and there no hole......and you start questioning your sexuality

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What does rainbow stand for? Rick Astley Is Nesting By Our Window to harass us

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If E = cos[(6x+8) + 5x!] + tan(90-X)^2, and x = 137/43, what is E? The fifth letter of the alphabet.

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What did the rabbi say to the priest? I respect your religion but have faith in judiasm.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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There was a big guy he was called Mac. So Mc Donalds turned him into a burger

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What do you get when you cross a zebra and a panda? Well, pandas are almost extinct. I guess they gave up and started goin' with zebras.

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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An Irishman, a homosexual and a Jew walk into a bar. Paddy's really exploring his options lately.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? She had no friends.

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Jingle bells Batman smells WHERE IS SHE??!!?!?!?

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Why did Sally eat popcorn? She was watching a movie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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