Why did the Kitty stop meowing? Because its dead.

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What is grey and looks like a rock? A rock

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Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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A conversation between friends ( or some what.) Joe: I'm thinking about going out of state for college ... Rick: your mom went to college! Joe: yes she did Rick that's why shes a docker and my families rich.

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How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

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whatts blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz

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Yo momma so Fat that she got picked for the Olympic Swim Team

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A man dressed in a business suit goes into a doctor's office. He asks the receptionist how much a vasectomy would cost. After a minute of her looking it up on the computer she turns to him and says "The procedure will cost $750." He then thanks her and leaves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

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is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

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A:Knock Knock, B:Who's There? A:Orange, B:Orange Who? A:Orange Banana.

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A man walked into a Persian dentist office. After a few hours he leaves the office with his mouth feeling much better because the oral-surgery went exeptionally well.

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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Wy did the chicken?

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What did the man with five penises say? I have 5 penises.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people. But it's really not. You always have to explain it to them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Irrelevant. The road is no place for chickens.

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Why did brad pay the sexy looking librarian with a big smile on his face? Becouse brad returned his books to late and had to pay a fine for that. The librarian made a joke about the fact that it was a waste of money to return the books late.

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What happened when the Neo-Nazi ran into a group of black people? He listened to their struggles, heard their stories, accepted their diversity and eventually hung up his hateful ways.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. He values his privacy and will not tell me his motives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops