Why did the boy scream? Because his girlfriend poked him in the butthole, which he was not expecting. Thus surprising him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got mercifully trampled by a nearby 18 wheeler.

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Why did people have cold showers in the old days? Because there was no electricity back then, making it hard to heat water to a temperature that was classified as 'warm'.

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Two chairs were sitting there. One chair says "Could you pass me that cup?" The other chair says "Oh my God a talking chair!"

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How do you get a one armed man to fall out of a tree? Wave.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait; it would be quite unsanitary to talk about my genitals in front of you.

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yo mama's so fat!!!

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What's worse than having the name Riley Bathurst? being shot in the head by a black guy.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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What did the Asian, the black man and the jew have in common? To be honest i really don't know.

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What is the best way break up with your significant other without hurting their feelings? It is better to get it over with quickly and decisively. Gunshot to the head should do the trick.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says why the long face? The horse does not reply because it is a horse. He then is confused of where he is and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a couple stools.

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ghuieruioytidhfdvbshdkhfjh

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Why did the black man cross the road? He had a job interview precisely 10 minutes after this event occurred.

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Your mama's so fat she can't have children.

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What do you call a black man that sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

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Why did the plane crash? -Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The Police then give the S.W.A.T team the signal, and bust down the door and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door is Carlos Pedrojeuz, a serial killer, meth addict who has been a part of the sex slave trade for a decade. One might think of answering the door next time.

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Why did the womens basketball team beat the mens? the men were locked in a refrigerator

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How did the boy cross the road? He didn't he had polio.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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