A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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call 803-389-9808 for a good time ;D

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? People cross roads all the time, each for their own personal reasons. Questioning their motives is generally accepted as being unnecessary, as it is a relatively safe action as log as one is careful and heeds the laws of traffic.

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how do you make a blonde snowman? hollow out the head.

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? none, you can't see them in the dark. V

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sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

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WNBA

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? Someone threw a piano at her.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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How do you kill a mocking bird? You throw an axe at it.

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizz

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Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I picked them in the meadow this morning

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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Where did Susie go after an explosion? Everywhere

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Person 1 : i need to sneeze Person 2 : ok ( person 1 sneezes ) Person 2 : bless u ( few seconds later ) did u sneeze? Person 1 : yep :)

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Mark Mark who? Mark Jennings. Oh hey, Mark, come in.

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So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

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Leave her alone...

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keep your eye off me if you dont look at me, how do you know i looked at you? there is a mirror

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what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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