You know what is not cool? Fire.

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Trolololollolololololololololololololol

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A guy walks into a bar. Yep.. that's it.

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Where does the Queen keep her armies? In various military bases across the country.

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what did the Alaskan homeless man get for Christmas? Death

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mum, I've just raped her

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what did the mexicans name their daughter? nothing. they were deported before they had a chance

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night? Cot death.

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Hey i heard you where cool wait that was opposite day ;)

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A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

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There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

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Knock Knock Who's there? ... No one, you have Schizophrenia

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Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

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You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

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Who spends too much time on Anti-Joke? ...

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why did the Monkey Fall out of the tree? ..It was dead..

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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Q: What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A tragedy worse than 9/11.

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Roses are black, violets are black, we are all black Shit i'm colour blind

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Your mother is so stupid that she has trouble discerning certain facts from fiction.

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Why did the man laugh when he saw someone using a shake weight? He remembered Dane Cook's stand up preformance from the night before.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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