Why did the cat eat the cupcake? Cause he was hungry.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

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Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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Comedy.

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A man walks into a bar. The other one ducks.

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What do u call a short Mexican Nothing that's normal

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How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

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What do a squirrel and a cucumber have in common? They both cant ride bikes

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When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

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3 Mormon men walk by a blonde woman eating a banana. They are not distracted by this and continue their journey of spreading Christianity.

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Stevie Wonder: Did you see the new piano I got from pepsi? Me: no.... Stevie Wonder: Neither did I...........

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What do you call you're mum? Depends who's reading it or just mum

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Who livs in a pineaple under the sea? Lots of mold and bacteria

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Wanna hear a joke? JORDAN SANDERS IN A RELATIONSHIP.

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why did the baby start crying? someone threw a brick at it

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what dog doesnt have teeth? A horse.

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Ms. Smoot's class

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What do you call the black president? Mr.President

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Why did the boy fall out of his high chair? I'm not sure.

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What has legs but may never walk? A Vietam Vet

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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Chuck Norris didn't count to infinite twice. He can't even do it once.

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Botanically speaking, cheese can't fry bagels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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