Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mom is so fat, when she sweats, it is more than the normal amount of sweat.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A muslim walks into a gay bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get straight A's? Try really hard throughout the school year and when it comes to the exams study enough to ensure you understand all the material, but so so much as to compromise your sleeping pattern, and in turn, your performance on the day.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between peanut butter and jelly ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make a black man sad? You kill and mutilate his family maliciously

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the Mexican man jump to the floor? He had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's longer then Hitlers gas bill Chris Browns Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An elephant walks into a bar..what the hell

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So Jimmy's phsycology teacher is trying to think of beginnig lessons for her phsycology class. so she gets up and says "class, i want u anyone who thinks they are stupid to stand up." nobody stood up. then Jimmy stands up. The teacher says "Jimmy, u think u are stupid?" Jimmy replies "No, i just felt bad with u standing up all alone."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What did the blonde woman say? A: My hair is blonde

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's black, blue and smells like fish? A dead penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does KFC stand for? Kids Fattening Center

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Guy 1: Hey, did you hear about this blind guy who went bungee jumping off a bridge? Guy 2: No, what happened? Guy 1: He couldn't see Jack!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Blonde walks into a bar. Man walks up to blonde and says a pick-up line. Blonde says "Crap, this is a gay bar?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Hanna fall of the swing She had no arms or legs Knock knock Whose there Not Hanna Haha

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops