Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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What sauce do chicken's hate? Bone suckin' sauce

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Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

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Wanna know who doesnt no how to right a joke? Who ever wrote this...

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Whats worse than 12 babys stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 12 trees!

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

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Yo momma eats healthy, exercises regularly and is likely in decent physical condition.

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

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Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

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Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

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what is a jews favorite holiday? the halocaust.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Nothing really

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A giant watermelon falls on a man He's dead

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You momma's so ugly your dad left her.

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Guy 1: "Hey do you want to hear a joke?" Guy 2: "Sure" Guy 1: "No."

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mc hammers income.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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Whats worse than 911..? The plane ride there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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