What's the difference between dogs and humans? 8.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

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Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

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A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

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why did the lesbians shop at modell's? because they thought the store had reasonable prices and considerable discounts

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why do people just recycle the same jokes over and over are you that desperate for some f*cking attention? The Holocaust

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Why did the fat kid drop his Mcdonalds? Because he had a stroke.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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1:Knock Knock 2:Who's there 1: Your cousin tyler He was then brought in with the rest of the family to celebrate Thanks giving.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

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vagina, hehehehehehehe

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It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

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Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

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What's red and hurts you? A brick.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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