What does an eagle and a worm have in common? They both live in the ground. Except the eagle.

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96

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A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be." The bear mauls his face off and kills several other patrons before police show up and fire three rounds in it's face.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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How did th-A fridge.

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why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

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Jacob went onto anti-jokes cause Brock told him to and Jacobs his bitch.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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whats the difference between chuck norris and a normal human being? nothing

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Can you guess the following words? Boo*s s*x *orn g*y cu*t b*tch Answers: Books, six, horn, guy, cult, batch.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why couldn't she get back up? She blew up

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting your nipple ripped off by a pair of pliers

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Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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There was a man from the hood, His limericks weren't very good, So he decided to become a purveyor of monogrammed handkerchiefs and other fine linen products.

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I like my women how I like my salad. Without a penis.

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How can you upset Helen Keller? In Braille spell out that she can't see or hear the hunger games

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Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

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Why did it take so long for the baby's to paint my wall? I didn't throw them hard enough.

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knock knock who's there? Andrew Oh hey Andrew come on in!

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A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? heart worms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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