how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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A man with a gun walks into a bar. The police are called and the man was killed quickly.

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no

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- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, Mitchell ate it before it could do so.

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A sprayed behind is a clean BEHIND!

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WHat did REAAAALLLY Jesus say when, walking on, wat, er?, Will somebody please get me of this floating piece of ice? Please? Stop screaming HALLELUJAH! People: HALLELUJAH!

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Roar, roar! I am the king of the jungle! But did you know the lion would be defeated by a polar bear in a battle between the two?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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Why did the boy like watching NASCAR? He didnt because he was a fish and a secret Soviet spy

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I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

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A man walk into a bar. He then falls down, quickly picks himself up, and continues his life.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear made her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What's worse than sibling rivalry? having no bones

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why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nothing. Earlier that day his vocal chords were ripped out by an angry chimpanzee. He will never speak again

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and a man? Nothing. I was lying about their being a difference.

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What do the holocaust and 9/11 have in common? They were both terrible tragedies that people will look back upon in sadness for years.

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Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

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What do you call a black man with no education? An unfortunate outcome of our meritocratic society.

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Why are you fat? You like devil dogs

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WHY DID THE WHITE MAN TALK TO THE BLACK MAN TO LIGHTEN HIM UP

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops