Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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Yo mom's so fat, she's overweight !

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why did the child laugh at the anti-joke? Because it was funny

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A black man trips and falls down. You help him up and ask him if he needs any help. After a brief friendly talk you both continue on your separate ways.

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What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to....

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What is the difference between a black guy and a road? One you put tar on and the other one is a road

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Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

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How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

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Why didn't the man cross the road? He was paralyzed.

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What do you call a black man who is poor, homeless, and HIV positive? Unlucky.

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Matt Damon

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what are you called if your really funny but you not smart? the class clown

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Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

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Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

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What do you call a gay woman who likes to smoke cigarettes? A lesbian with a possible nicotine addiction.

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two biscuits rolling down a hill one says, " where you from" the other replied "im not telling you, youl steal my washing"

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A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

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What do you call a black guy, a white guy, a mexican guy, and a chinese guy jumping out of a plane? Skydivers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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