Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

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Why is an orange, orange. Because you can't clean a window with a spade.

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McDonald's... Giving people with swag jobs since 1942.

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What is the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Lamborghini I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

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Where is Madeline McCann? 6 Feet under....

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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what did Santa say to the 3 hookers? Merry Christmas!

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What's ur favorite color? Cancer Made by mark

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A man walks into a bar, he has a terrible drinking problem and he is ruining his family.

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Ouch.

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they!

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what the difference between matthew and a retard? The retard can do math

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow" you don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement.

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Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

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drake

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

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How do you have sex with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Justin Beiber

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How do you get a fat man to drop a brownie? Make fun of him until he kills himself, and then drops the brownie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops