A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

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roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

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Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

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Pickles

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I have no ideas.

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A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

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knock knock use the doorbell. our door has a hive of bees in it. three ambulances and a pest control squad was at the house five minutes later.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

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How is it called a black man piloting a plane? Pilot, you racist!

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Your mother is so fat that I'm starting to worry about her health.

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Hickory Dickory Dock mother is a whore

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What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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