Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

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How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

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Looks through the peephole.

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A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

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What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

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Mr. Burns sex scandal.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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Q; Why was the man loosing his hair? A; Because since he was at an older age, he was going bald.

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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What did the dog say to the human. "Woof."

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

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What's worse than finding Michael V. in your class? Finding Curtis W. in there instead\

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

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A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

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There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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