A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

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My friends are like trampolines I have none

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Women's rights.

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What is samios' favorite position? ;) Full back... In the bum.

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Has anyone told you, you look fat today?" "Because you don't.

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why was the horse sad his wife had terminal cancer

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your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

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3 people walk into a bar. They order the same drinks. Upon receiving these drinks, they all promptly left. This is not a funny joke.

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whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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what do you call a diver with no arms and no legs? a bobber

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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A white man bumps into an Asian man while walking down the street. They have a brief chat. As they part ways, the white man says, "Facebook me!" The Asian man replies, "Due to my socio-economic situation I cannot currently afford an Internet service." So they exchange telephone numbers.

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A fire at a chinese high school caused the death of many children. The drill was unsucessful.

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What has two feet and cant walk? a cripple

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A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

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Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

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Two blondes walk into a bar. There is a fat man there, but nobody talks to him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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