Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

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What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops