Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Why did the boy fall of of his bicycle? He was hit by an asteroid.

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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