"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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why did the man take the bus to work he didnt have a liscence

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Why did the boy do his homework? For fun.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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A horse walks into a bar. Just kidding, it's a panda.

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

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Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

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Ms Leong Sux

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

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LeBron in the fourth quarter

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Why Americans are so bad at League of Legends? Because they can't defend their towers.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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