Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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Justin Bieber

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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