If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Want to here a joke? Me to...

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Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

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Ross.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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wow, that guy is such a buzz-kill. worse than Buzz Killington!

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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Naturally us at the order of exile, the ones that learn and teach the ways of Nero do not exist. Soon neither will those that speak against us. - Azure Dragon

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why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

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What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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