If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

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A man is wrongfully convicted of murder and sent to prison. After a lengthy appeals process the guilty verdict is overturned and he walks away a free man.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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