Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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Robin, get in the car, please.

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

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How do you tell if an albino baby is black? Check his genetics.

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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