What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

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Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

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Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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Cripples are lame.

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

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time to spruce up!

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Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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