I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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i saw amango it splootered

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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