What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

He who laughs last gathers no moss.

Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

why did the girl die. because she was bullied and abused everyday by her family and friends. she was homeless and was forced to drop a bomb on her own forest. there fore she stabbed herself.

I am a mime

Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

Whats brown and smells bad poo

One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...