Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

Why does Joel's breathe smell?

How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

What do you call a 2 storied house ?

what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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