How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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knock knock Goodbye

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops