Gustavo Andrade

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Andoni was here

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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