what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

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What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

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why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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