What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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Why does austin bell like it up the butt? Cause he's a cat a kitty cat meow meow meow and meow meow meow

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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