why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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Ross.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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