Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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im @ work, LOL.

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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My girlfriend says i cant finish a sentence properly dripping horse cum fetus rape.

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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What did the black man say to the fat Irish lady? Hi.

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This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a cadilac driving over a cliff? They stole my car :(

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How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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I will create more jobs for americans

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Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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