What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

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What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

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What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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