Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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Why did the Taxi crash? The cab driver was trying to remove the frog stapled to his face.

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did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Oh, I thought you could tell me. I will ask someone else. See you later.

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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Two peanuts were crossing a road. One was salted.

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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