Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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How do you get a elephant in a fridge? You open the fridge and put it in. How do you get a Rhino in a fridge? You take the elephant out and then put the rhino in. All the animals in the animal kingdom are at a meeting, what animal isn't there? The rhino, his in the fridge. How do you cross a river full of alligators? Walk across the allligators are at the meeting.

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

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dat shoe shine tho

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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How do you make a snake blink? You can't

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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