What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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A man walks into a bar, drinks, then leaves the bar.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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