What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Choir.

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

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What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

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How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops