Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

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Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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