What has nine arms and sucks? Four children with two arms snacking on a lollipop, and one child with one arm snacking on a lollipop.

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Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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