A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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I'm Polish.

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What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

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What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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a

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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