Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You're a big fat monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many asian children does it take for Gary Glitter to get aroused? Just one.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops