How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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Why did the buetiful woman marry the homeless man? True love

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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How long does it take for a black woman to have a shit. 9 months.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

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Yo mamma so fat not even Dora can explore her

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Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

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What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

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why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops