Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

thumb_up thumb_down +17

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what's a snake that has no legs a snake

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops