You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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What the librarian say to the man? Hi, can I help you?

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

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A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

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Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

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Why didn't the Mexican kid go to school? Because he was sick.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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