Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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What did one sexy babe say to the other? We are sexy

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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